Sheffield City Council asked me
What best describes my ethnicity?
British – (BR)? Irish – (IR)?
Or (GT) Gypsy or Traveller?

If none of these then (AOW)
Any other white background
Thoughts like these then troubled me
As splashing through my gene-pool I found:

I’m CAR (there’s no box for that I see)
Celtic Anglo-Saxon Roman
Fifty-third generation
This history’s who and what I am:

Captured punk slaved here
Made Freedman of the Roman Empire
Then vorsprung Northumbria
Till the Normans acquired.

Kept good books – fierce good looks
That blade took some beating
You look wet – why not
Dry your tapestry on our central heating?

I’m CAR not A, B or C
Celtic Anglo-Saxon Roman
Invaded island racing made me
Exactly what I am

Born to be wild in woad
But growing Italian tomatoes
Rode with Harald’s Kingdom Seven
Joined Robin Hood became a villein.

There’s CAR in my DNA
Celtic Anglo-Saxon Roman
Those genes come out to play
And that’s why I’m who I am:

Dolce vita, invent Ryvita
Don’t mean a thing if it ain’t got bling
Build a road straight, pillage and rape
Then write a poem about it.

I’m CAR – drive on the left
To keep my sword arm free
That’s what you’ll get
Allegedly, if you run into me.

There’s a CAR-man
Waiting in the sky
And now I’ve been to meet him
I think I know my mind:

Didn’t know what kind I was
What box to tick –
This melting pot has stews
I can’t believe how thick!

So put me down as CAR
Its one of the AOWs –
Any other white background?
Celtic Anglo-Saxon Roman.

Mr & Mrs Library persons
Why’d you need to know, then?
If an Essex chariot-racer turned bowman
Wants to borrow your books?